The Wildest Junk in the Trailer “Plane”, ranked

What I like the most about the trailer airplane — the movie where Gerard Butler flies the plane — is that it packs in about 150 seconds more than most movies can go in two hours. There is a lot going on here frankly. Lots, probably, which is by no means a complaint. This lollipop opens with Gerard Butler Sipping coffee while passengers board the commercial flight, he is responsible for flying safely from one airport to another and ends up running through the woods with a potential killer wrongly at his side and both carrying automatic weapons and/or a sledgehammer. More movie trailers should do that. Exactly like this. Just use this as a trailer for every movie whether it’s about Gerard Butler piloting a plane or not. I don’t know if I’ll be watching this movie from start to finish – I have a strong suspicion that I’ll be picking up bits of it on basic cable at various points over the next five years – but I do know this: I’ve watched this trailer at least 10 times since it first came out Less than 24 hours ago. I advise you to do the same. I mean…

look at this.

look at him.

This is what we will do. You’ll watch this trailer two or three more times to really soak in all the wild trash going on here, and then meet me below to discuss the wild trash we’ve all just seen. I’ll rank them from least to most brutal. You’d be really stupid. I’m so excited.

Well… here we go.

5. Full opening 30 seconds

airplane
lion gate

The first 30 seconds of this trailer features:

  • Gerard Butler as a commercial airline pilot
  • Mike Colter as a convicted murderer is taken on board by a government species that relocates him to a new location.
  • Gerard Butler says things like “let’s not scare the passengers” and “let’s have a good flight”, which pretty much guarantees that these passengers will be terrified and their flight will be bad.
  • The plane is flying through a group of fearsome clouds before the screenshot at the top of this section

This is a great start for a trailer. We already have six or seven things going on, most of which could be a full movie. None of them is the point of this movie. They are all just setting the point for this movie. Once again, it is incredible.

4. Bodies are flying around Willie Nellie

airplane
lion gate

Let’s continue working with the points:

  • Stewardess asks everyone to fasten their seat belts in preparation for the commotion
  • Everyone wears a seat belt except the flight attendant
  • The one that opens in the cabin roof when the plane starts to fight
  • Mess
  • shouting
  • Woman holding a wall and screaming

The best part: We still haven’t gotten to the actual point of the movie, although “the chaos in the air in a plane piloted by Gerard Butler carrying a killer who makes a lot of evil faces” is more than enough to make a movie. I know I’m repeating myself but this is too important to say only once. I am very proud of everyone who had any role in making this happen.

3. “Well guess what, there are armed separatists now” really outrageous

airplane
lion gate

I’ll keep doing this in the form of a note because I don’t think any paragraph can really explain what’s going on:

  • The plane crashed in a forest somewhere in Asia known as the “Jojo Group”, which would also be a cool fake name if you were looking for one
  • It turns out that the jungle is located in a kind of uncontrollable territory and is run by many separatists and armed militias
  • Tony Goldwyn from scandal And the ghost Pop up to explain all this through a large portion of a useful presentation delivered to a group of people in a meeting room
  • The passengers are taken hostage and their only hope of survival is the rescue led by Gerard Butler (who appears to kick a dude in the face so hard that the dude dies) and the murdered convict, played by Mike Coulter (whom Gerard unchained and may have been unjustly imprisoned and now has a hammer )

This is what the movie is actually about. And he’s… amazing. It’s like someone saw it Air Force One And we said, “But what if we add a potential killer and a bunch of guerrillas”? Which is… I mean, good. Why do anything less than everything you can do at once, you know? I hope they make it to the middle of the movie and then there’s a surprise reveal that the island too Jurassic Park. Let Gerard Butler kill a dinosaur. Or ride one to kill some militiamen. I can be flexible here.

2. Make this little magic explanation

airplane
lion gate
airplane
lion gate

I don’t really have anything significant to add to this bit of storytelling. Maybe just to remind you of Always watch everything with captions on. There is a lot of gold to be mined and I can’t stand the idea that you’ve lost any of it.

moving in …

1. The thing where all this happens and the movie is just called airplane

airplane
lion gate

One last set of notes:

  • It’s so funny to me that all of this – killers, plane crashes, armed separatists, rescues in the woods – happens in a movie called Just Plane.
  • It would be kinda like if Speed summoned bus or if Titanic has called boat
  • This would have been a great Dennis Hopper movie as the sinister senator who set everything in motion for reasons explained in a long monologue at the beginning of Chapter 3
  • It’s even better because it shows from the trailer that less than half of the movie takes place on the actual plane
  • This movie can be called just as easily jojo groupwhich is a better title objectively
  • I feel like you should know that Gerard Butler’s character is Captain Brody Torrance

This is all exciting to me. I hope they make dozens of them and start each of them with Gerard Butler’s plane crash in a new, lawless region of the world. Or even the moon. I want you to understand that I am serious about this. Please do it. for the people. for the world. But mostly for me.

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